She told him that she loved him only after he broke her heart. She said it not to change his mind, but because no matter how hard she tried she could not unlove him.
I've been thinking lately about the finality of things. How nothing can be undone. You cannot unspeak words. You cannot uneat food. You cannot unthink thoughts. You cannot unlove. I realized all of this, and then I hesitated... to do anything. Because once I did it I could not undo it. If I choose to eat that cookie now, I have to live with that decision all day. But if I choose to wait I can still eat it later, or I can pass it up later. Everything in life is like this - if you do it now it's done forever. Waiting always brings more options.
But I don't want to think about cookies. I want to think about love. And how it can't be undone.
If it's true that you can't unlove, then what does this mean for our lives? It means that all love is unconditional. It means that you can fall in love, but you can never fall out of it. It means knowing that there are a handful of people on this earth as well as one God who love you no matter what. People that, by the very nature of loving you, can never ever stop loving you. It means that there is nothing you can say, do, think, or feel that will make you unloved. It means that someone chose to love you and when they made that choice, they made it forever.
It means that if you "stop" loving someone, then maybe you never truly loved them in the first place.
It means that you will be loved, whether you like it or not.
In short, it means no more lost love. No more broken hearts.
He watched her cry all night. But she didn't cry for sadness. She didn't cry for missing him. She cried because she wanted to show him love, and he would not accept it.
We need to realize that love is a choice. Just like speaking and eating, we choose to do it and we choose it forever. Shouldn't this make it easier? Shouldn't this make it rational? Shouldn't this make it make sense? Ha. If only.
When she finally stopped crying it wasn't because she was over him. It was because she realized that she had chosen to love him, and she could continue loving whether or not he chose to love her back.
I wrote a nice response to this on my @hone and then it decided to erase everything once I tried to post it. So I'm gonna come back to this a little later and do it again lol. Sorry for the wait, hint, I liked it and fully understand how you feel.
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