Expectancy vs. Expectation

Maybe the reason I'm always disappointed is that I have too many expectations. Funny, since I've always lived by the motto of 'don't have any expectations and you'll never be disappointed'. But it's easier said than done. And now it has come to the point where my expectation is that I will be disappointed - and the satisfaction of being correct in any such case is usually outweighed by whatever disappointment I'm experiencing.

Expectation, to me, is wanting a specific thing or wanting something to happen in a certain way at a certain time. Expectation is wanting someone to act in a very particular way. It's understandable for people (especially ocd people like me) to have expectations. If we expect it we can plan for it. We can control it.

Expectancy is different. It's like being excited that something is going to happen, though you have no idea what that something may be. Expectancy is trusting in someone else to come through without any encouragement or help from you. And that - to me - is what makes expectancy difficult.

But none of this is new. So I pose a question.

I have no problem with expectation vs. expectancy when it comes to God. I believe in His promise and plan for my life, I know it's better than anything I have in mind and I trust Him to come through at His perfect time. So it's easy to be waiting with great expectancy but have no specific expectations from Him, since I trust in His plan. But what about people? Am I really supposed to have no expectations of other people? Am I supposed to be satisfied with the mediocre way that the people around me are living their lives, resulting in daily frustrations for me? Should I just wait around and trust in other people to come through, and then be happy with whatever happens?

Expectations in people range from the mundane to the important, and I cannot convince myself to stop expecting things from them. Things like, the others in a group project doing their part so I don't have to carry the entire load. Or the expectation that other drivers on the road will be sober so that I can be safe. A return phone call, is that too much to ask? Or how about a simple 'thank you' when I go completely out of my way to help someone. These are all expectations I have of people and I really can't bring myself to let them go, although they often result in disappointment.

And then there's the issue of expectancy in people. I guess I don't trust anyone enough. I've been brought up in a world where you have to fend for yourself, set goals and then chase them. A world where trusting in other people to help you succeed is never advised.

So is having expectations in other people really that bad? Am I asking too much? And if it's ok to set a standard for the way you want to be treated, how do you keep from being disappointed day after day? These are the questions that will keep me up tonight.